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Monday, May 16, 2005

What's wrong with me?

OK, I need some help here. I was just reading a blog by a guy I knew at YU, who's SOY President, and he was talking about how great the Yom Hazikaron and Yom Ha'atzmaut programs were at YU. I'm also looking at pictures from the commemoration and celebrations. I can't help but feel weird...I don't know, maybe even a little resentful. This is b/c the first thought that popped into my head when reading and looking at the pictures was...they can't be really celebrating it. They're not here, in Israel!! Like, they have no right to really celebrate it. If they're not living it, breathing it, they can't really be celebrating it. What's wrong with me? I've never felt this way before. Living in the States, before I even considered making Aliyah, I always considered myself an American Zionist. I lived in America, celebrated and cared about Israel, I marched in the Israeli Day Parades down 5th Ave and Central Park, participated in almost all the Israeli events my schools put on, was a Madrica in Bnei Akiva, stuff like that. But... I lived in America, and that was where I was staying. I felt comfortable in the thought that I could duelly represent Israel and live just fine in America. Now, that I'm here, I see the errors of my thoughts. I have a certain fiance, his family, and a Israeli Club President to thank for that. Anyway, is what I'm feeling wrong? Can some-one who's been living in Israel for longer than me explain to me why I have a little bit of animosity toward people who commemorate and celebrate Israel's most important days outside of Israel? If they're so keen on celebrating and thanking those that have gived up their lives so we can live here, why aren't they actually living here? I didn't expect to be feeling this way, and now I'm a little shocked with myself. Can anybody tell me what's going on, or if any of you have ever felt this way also? Thanks.
-OC

2 Comments:

At 10:03 PM, Blogger Avi said...

Welcome to life as an oleh. BTW, I agree with you except I felt it a little strange for a while before making aliya.

C-ya in class tommorrow

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger Avi said...

You got it wrong. WE have class tommorrow but not next week for student day or the week after.

 

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