Some Millave Malka Humor

I got this joke, via e-mail, from my bro-in-law. I thought it was very funny, and thought it would be some nice post-Shabbat fun.
Change a Light Bulb:

Q: How many Orthodox rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change?

Q: How many Conservative rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Some members of the Committee on Law & Standards say it takes a minyan, except what makes a minyan nobody can agree on. Some say the minyan can be made up of men and women, some say only men, some say men OR women. There was no majority, so the issue remains subject to the decision of the synagogue leader.

Q: How many Reform rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, anyone can change it whenever they want to.

Q: How many Hasidic Rebbes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What is a light bulb?

Q: How many Reconstructionist Jews does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What is a Reconstructionist Jew?

Q: How many Jewish Renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: If the rabbi leading the process is sufficiently skilled in channeling spiritual energy, the light bulb will be relit by itself.
However, the bulb must be an eco-kosher bulb that is not going to be lit from nuclear powered electricity and have been made from a company that was in any way responsible for the poisoning of the Hudson River. And during the paradigm shift between the changing of the bulb, one must document the experience for the up and coming book called "The Jew in the Light Bulb."

Q: How many Shlomo Carlebach Hassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Gevaldt, the light just went out, it must be a heavenly sign from Above that we all really need to get much closer this time, sing a good niggun or two, mamash open our hearts to this gevaldt Ishbitz torah, tell a Baal Shem Tov story and then later maybe somebody from the Chevreh can change the bulb at 2 in the morning.

Q: How many Lubavitchers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it never died.

Q: How many Breslover Hassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, because there will never be another one that will burn as brightly as the first.

Q: How many Kabbalah Center Jews does it take to change a light bulb?
A: As many as it would take to raise the $5000 bulb that was carefully selected by "Rabbi" Philip Berg based on its inherent ability to drawn down the Supernal Light into a Vessel astrologically appropriate for that particular Center as well as financially appropriate for their account.

Q: How many congregants in any one synagogue does it take to change a bulb?
A: CHANGE! You vant we should CHANGE the light bulb? My grandmother is the one
who donated that light bulb!

Q: How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 50. One to change the bulb, 13 to discuss it and give contradictory advice to the person changing the bulb, and 36 to live elsewhere, start their own community, act Mentshlich and not mention the previous bulb.