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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Commando Parenting

I have to admit that I have been very emotional over the past few days. Mostly, as I've already admitted, because I feel impotent and helpless right now. I also feel betrayed. I feel betrayed by the government that has been sworn to protect and defend my country and its citizens. I've never felt betrayed by my country's government before, and I never thought I would that way about this one. It's a very strange and wholly terrible feeling. Anyways, I have to say that I have come up with a plan to deal with this whole mess. Now, it may seem comical, but it's time tested and true.

Firstly, I have to admit that I am a Dr Phil fan. I try and watch his show every-day. Stop the snickering and pointing. It may be taboo, but the man is a genius, no matter what you say. We're a season behind from America, so those of you reading from the states, bear with me. Season 3's theme is "Family First". Dr Phil's goal is to make family a top priority again in America. It also goes along with his book, "Family First". It's a book designed to create the "phenomenal family". So, yesterday's show was dealing with ruly, misbehaving, rude children. As he was talking to the parents of a 5 year old girl, it hit me! He might as well be talking about the way that Olmert and the government is dealing with the Palestinians, and that the same exact rules apply here.

Picture it this way: The Palestinians are a 5 year old child, and Olmert is the parent. Dr Phil said that the biggest detriment to a child's proper development, especially in the area of behavior is inconsistency. Kids are smart. They pick up on things. When they see inconsistency coming from their parents, they know that they can get away with anything, and that manipulation will work wonders. When a kid does something wrong, and the parent says that they're going to punish them and then doesn't, the kid realizes, "Well then, I guess this is OK. I can do whatever I want and get whatever I want, because mom and dad aint gonna do nothing about it. They say they will, but they don't. That means I can keep do it and other stuff to." They test the boundaries, and as long as there's inconsistency between words and actions, they keep going further and further.

In order to fix this, Dr Phil says that parents have to use what he calls, "Commando Parenting". It basically means that the kid's world, as they know it, has to come to an end. They have to hear and experience consistency, because that's the only thing they respond to. They have to be able to predict with 100% certainty that if they do something bad or wrong, x, y, or z is going to happen. Their world will come crashing down. And, the bad behavior will stop immediately. How do you bring the kid's world to an end to create consistency? You strip them of everything they know and own. You take away their clothes, their toys, their TVs, video games, even their beds if you have to. Have them sleeping on a mattress with just a blanket, sheet and pillow if necessary. Then, you tell them that as their behavior improves, they will slowly get their things and priviledges back.

So to here, Olmert has to first get some balls and start being consistent. What he says, he has to do. Then, the Palestinians' world, as they know it, has to come to an end. We disengaged from Gaza, but we are still breast-feeding the PA. We, and by "we", I mean the Israeli tax payers, are still providing and paying for the Palestinians' water and electricity. Therefore, the Palestinians know that whatever they do, Israel is not going to take away their priviledges. The back-lash from the international community would be swift and merciless. Olmert is still providing the PA with weapons, hoping against hope that they'll be used to protect Abbas and not to kill other Palestinians or Israelis. We have to, finally, take away the crutch from under the Palestinians. They will never declare independence, they will never become independent as long as Israel and the rest of the world is willing to piggy-back them on their shoulders. Why bother declaring a state? The world is paying for their food. Israel is paying for their utilities and water and medical care. They don't have to actually do anything on their own. At least, none of the menial work that a state actually has to do in order to be a state. They don't have to create any government institutions. You know, all that really non-sexy stuff that it takes to actually run a country. No, as long as they're dependent on Israel, they can keep up the poor aggrieved occupied people act. They can keep playing the victim, and we keep reinforcing that poor self-esteem.

In order to reinforce children, you must wean them off of having to depend on you, the parent, from doing everything for them. When children first learn to walk, they fall down. They hurt themselves and cry, but good parents don't just pick them up and say they never have to try walking on their own again. No, good parents calm the kid down and then let them go through the pain and frustration until finally they're taking those first firm steps on their own. Those are already the first signs of independence from parents. But, inconsistency ruins a child's development and independence.

It's about time the world and Israel stop growing a mama's boy and raise a man. Be consistent, end the Palestinians' world as they know it to force them to realize that this bad behavior won't be tolerated, and force them to walk on their own. The first baby steps, like any other newly formed country, are always hard, painful, and frustrating, but in the end, they do walk on their own. As long as they are coddled and able to successfully manipulate, they will never grow up, and they will always know that they can walk all over us. Five year olds aren't stupid.


At 7:15 PM, Blogger Osaid Rasheed said...

Very interesting and exciting !

/..We, and by "we", I mean the Israeli tax payers, are still providing and paying for the Palestinians' water and electricity. Therefore, the Palestinians know that whatever they do, Israel is not going to take away their priviledges../
I didnt hear such news before ! Are you really paying the Palestinians money for water and electricity ? That is so generous of you, if you truelly do !!
( the 50 million NIS Isreal pays monthly to Palestinians is Palestinian money -taxes on Palestinian goods through Israel- and are not a gift or charity from the Israeli Government )

I don't know what privillages you are talking about !! The hundreds of civillians the IDF kill each year or the 10 thousand prisoners who are rotting inside Israeli prisons ?? Or the tens of thousand of settlers who are stealing our land and poor resources ??( or maybe ( according to your Commando Parenting Theory )I should say : the hundreds of Palestinian civilians who are being 'punished' by their parent ( father. Israel ) and those who are being 'hold inside their rooms' for acting in a nasty way and disobeying their parents ?? or the hundreds of thousands of GUESTS who come and sleep in the baby's room, use his water and toilet and after a while treat him like a guest !!)

You are right though : your government has not been acting consistently anytime. It claims that it will give some land for palestinians, then it says that this land is the price for the peace, then it says that this land is originally palestinian and Israel has been waiting for the right partner to talk with, then it finds a partner and talks with him, then it says that that partner is another terrorist Palestinian ( Arafat )...
Luck plays alot with your government and many of these "terrorists" just 'leave'.. then others come and take control..but your government says tey are 'weak' and that they are 'supporting teror' and that they are simply not a good partner...then on TV in Petra your government HUGS this ..... ( I dont know what to describe him : partner ??, terrorist ??, friend ??- coz either desrciption means FURTHER inconsistency !!! )

I do agree with you on almost all what you said, except for the comments that I added

Our father( Israel ) is not spoiling us or giving us PRIVILLAGES ( ha !! ), he ismolesting us.

Maybe he is new to raising up children. Maybe he doesn't know how important is it to build a good relation with his child.
Maybe he is doing so many bad things ,conscioussly and unconscioussly, that is not making it possible to bring this relation into success .I dont know ..you tell me !

Allow me to say it : our father sucks !!

Anyway... Thanks for your post !
good day

At 9:00 PM, Blogger Olah Chadasha said...

osaid, I love it when you pop up to comment now and then. It's nice to see your priorities are in order, and this is the post that you decide to respond to instead of others. But, I digress. Let's answer your points one at a time, shall we.

Yes, Israeli tax payers are paying for the Israeli government to provide electricity and water and medical care for the Palestinians. The tax money is lotted to go directly to the Palestinian Authority, and that is why that money was stopped ever since Hamas came to power. If what you were saying is true and Israel was not paying out of their own pockets, and it's the money "owed" to the Palestinians, they wouldn't have had water and electricity for several months now, right? I mean, that's only logical, isn't it? I guess you didn't stop to consider that before you made that little comment, did you? Oh yeah, and just fyi, that money only "belongs" to the PA on the pre-requisite that they meet certain conditions set forth by the Oslo Accords. They've actually never fully been met, and I guess Hamas coming into power was the last straw. Anyways, moving on...

I'm actually going to ignore your second paragraph. It's propaganda nonsense that isn't even worth responding to. I'm not about to degrade myself to your level of false rhetoric and reasoning. Did you hear that at a HAMAS rally, because it sounds as if it was repeated verbatim? Moving on...

Your third paragraph is extremely disjointed and makes no sense what-so-ever, so I'm just going to ignore that also. Were you getting red faced when you wrote that? Were the vains popping out of your head, because it sounds extremely angry and thoughtless? Why don't you take a deep breath and calm down, and then try writing that one over again. M'kay?

Well, I do agree with you about one thing; you father does suck. Of course, we're talking about two different things. You're talking about Israel, the country, and I'm talking about Olmert, the man. You should really take out all that aggression and frustration where it really belongs; the Palestinian government and the entire Arab world. They're the ones who have messed up the lives of all the Palestinian people. They're the ones who have used innocent people as pawns in their private games for control of the region. But, I know. I know. It's easier and more "productive" to take out the anger on Israel. Do you feel better now that you've gotten that off your chest?

At 10:31 AM, Blogger westbankmama said...

Olahchadasha - you have a good point, BUT it calls for someone who has the confidence to know that he is a parent. The left has brainwashed too many into believing that it is not right to make demands on the Arabs because they are always the victims - no matter what they do. How can you expect a supposedly abused child to act normally and responsibly - they are miskeinim! We have to educate ourselves first before we can act consistently.

At 11:25 AM, Blogger Oleh Yahshan said...

wbm, unlike osaid, you totally get what I was trying to say in this post. Maybe, that's because you're a parent and get the methaphors. You are totally right.

At 4:52 PM, Blogger RR said...

Very good metaphor- I keep saying that whenever Israel threatens and then does nothing, or punishes ever so weakly, all it does is make the terrorists see that we don't really mean business. They get bolder and bolder and laugh at how weak and pathetic we are.

It's time to get tough- very tough.

At 8:07 PM, Blogger Olah Chadasha said...

rr, very well put. As I've said many times, restraint doesn't appease terrorists. It emboldens them. It also gives them the greates and most dangerous weapon of all; Hope. Hope that they can actually achieve their goals via what they're doing. Our restraint for the sake of "saving face" and under duress from the international community has caused what's happening right now. That's a fact.

At 12:39 AM, Blogger Osaid Rasheed said...

You could have ignored all my comment instead of coming out with the reply that I read above.

I am not angry at all, why should I be angry?

After all,Olah, I was a VISITOR to your site, and that was not a very nice way of replying to a visitor's comment. ( No offence )

If you dont like me to comment, just say it.

You can always see things the way you like, but you should also try to see how others would view it. I was that 'others', simply.

note : Take it easy.

At 12:57 AM, Blogger Olah Chadasha said...

Osaid, I have no problem with you commenting at all. I don't skirt issues. If I didn't want you commenting on the site, I would tell you straight out. I commented on your post the way I saw it. It was completely disjointed. You didn't say anything significant other than the propanganda that you spouted in your first paragraph. It also had a lot of angry words, and, therefore a very angry tone to it. Why don't you re-read what you wrote, and tell me how I could have misunderstood it.

If your post is the way "others" view things than Palestinians hate Israel just as much as people say, and you've proven liberals like gert wrong. So, thanks for the "other" point of view. It was very enlightening.


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