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Sunday, September 03, 2006

Oh, You French, and Your Ways

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--General George S. Patton
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
accordion."
--Norman Schwartzkopf
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
--Marge Simpson
---------------
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
--Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
--Rush Limbaugh
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"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--Regis Philbin
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it."
-- John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into
Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman
"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
--Ted Nugent
"War without France would be like ... World War II."
--Unknown
"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that
says 'First Iraq, then France.'"
--Tom Brokaw
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
--Dennis Miller
"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
--Alan Kent
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot.
Dropped once.'"
--Rep. Roy Blunt, MO
"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq "
--Dennis Miller
"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not
known, it's never been tried."
--Rep. R. Blount, MO
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
--John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv
The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate.

The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which
destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively disabling their
military.
French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney

(AP), Paris, March 5, 2003

The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender.
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10 Comments:

At 12:48 AM, Blogger The Argus said...

Saturday, September 02, 2006
French Scumbags name street after convicted cop killer!
Look what the French dirtbags have done now:

(Why isn't the media all over this?)

On April 29, 2006, the French low lives named a street, in the town of Saint-Denis, after the convicted killer of Philadelphia Police Officer Daniel Faulkner. Mumia Abu-Jamal was sentenced to death in 1981 for taking the life the 25 year old police officer.

Abu-Jamar remains alive in prison waiting on appeals. Daniel Faulkner remains dead, and the French remain as disgusting as ever.

Faulkner's widow, Maureen, called the street dedication "disgusting" and urged Philadelphia residents planning a visit to Paris this summer to cancel their trips. In 2001, the Paris City Council made Abu-Jamal an honorary citizen.

To read more about it: http://michellemalkin.com/archives/005200.htm

Send the French embassy your thoughts.

 
At 3:43 PM, Blogger Gert said...

If someone made similar jokes about Jews, Israelis or Israel you'd (and many with you) call them anti-Semites...

 
At 6:38 PM, Blogger Olah Chadasha said...

gert, they're not jokes. They're absolutely true. And, lots of jokes are told about Jews without being anti-semitic. You simply need to learn to get a sense of humor. You should talk to the Jews about that. We're known for our sense of humor. Oh my god! Was that anti-semitic. C'mon, gert, you need better material.
-OC

 
At 8:53 PM, Blogger Gert said...

If your latest comment is an attempt at irony, I'd quit now, if I was you; it clearly doesn't suit you.

A few one-liners intended to get a cheap laugh, those aren't jokes to you? They're absolutely true?

 
At 9:54 PM, Blogger Olah Chadasha said...

gert, I know you have this thing with "francophobes", but you're really reaching here. Your seriousness in this matter is laughable, and if we were face to face, I'd be laughing in your face. These are funny jokes, and they happen to be true as well. As always, the French need help defending themselves, and, you; the British, are coming to their rescue once again. Now, that's ironic.
-OC

 
At 11:54 PM, Blogger Oleh Yahshan said...

gert,
you Poor Soul!! you need to LIGHTEN UP!! There is this thing called humer - it's when people laugh and funny Stuff - Us JEWS know a thing or 2 about it:
http://www.talkradionetwork.com/pg/jsp/general/host.jsp?chartID=3&position=11

 
At 6:44 PM, Blogger Gert said...

Firstly, I never mentioned francophobia, nor did I come to the rescue of the French (contrary to your very simplistic reading of history, the French don't need rescuing).

The point I made was that some of these one-liners would be considered anti-Semitic if the object of light scorn had been jews, Israel or Israeli Jews. I stand by that.

With "lighting up" this has nothing to do, nor with "seriousness". You're merely deflecting a valid point.

Have it your way...

 
At 1:34 AM, Blogger Olah Chadasha said...

Gert, sometimes, you're really pathetic, I have to say. First of all, you've spoken about this so called "francophobia" at least once on your blog, and if you like, I will go and find the article for you. Secondly, you really don't have a sense of humor if you stand by your ridiculous assertion that if these one liners were spoken about Jews, they would be considered anti-semitic. Why don't you turn them into Jewish jokes, and let's find out? Go ahead. I give you full permission, as a Jew, to make these jokes into Jew jokes. If that's the case, you really need to watch the clips I posted in your honor, again, and with a little more clarity. You have a very scewed understanding on a great many things. Now, we can add humor to the list.
-OC

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger Gert said...

No, you don't need to dig up the article, I know which one you mean.

As I've stated elsewhere on this blog, whether something is mere comedy or humour also depends on the context. The author of that particular article was an ignorant little sod with faulty and preconceived ideas about the French and France and clearly displayed francophobia. There is a difference between genuine critiqueing and spouting jingoistic and unsubstantiated generalities, designed to please an ignorant readership and confirm their dumb stereotypes.

But he's entitled to his opinion.

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger Olah Chadasha said...

Yeah, and this blog is entitled to consider what is funny. These jokes are funny, and every-one's a critic. Live with it, and move on. Then, learn some actual French history. After that, maybe you'll understand why these jokes are funny. Until then...
-OC

 

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